I'm at work

I have enjoyed your responses thus far- keep it coming. This one is pretty interesting- listen to this dialogue.
G- we did not speak much last week
B- yes we did- the day we talked for a long time
G but is that normal for married people?
B-no but I am not trying to make any excuses but .... (=excuses)
G- so u don't agree that there was anything wrong with last week or you did not even notice? not talking that much for a week?
B- I have a new job and I am not used to the schedule!!!!!
(argument follows) then
B- u know what go ahead- i don't have anything else to say
G- ok (talking) and B- starting to talk over too
G- I thought u have nothing to say
now arguing at the top of our voices
B- this is becos u cannot stand my job
G- who they heck mentioned ur job yes and yes and yes I do not like it- i only put up with it- I have been saying that for a long time
B- do not say anything u will regret
G- like what? that I put up with your job (everyone is talking at the same time)
B- I try to like ur job
G- um that is because u have always known my job, too bad...I have not always known in fact part of the things I was told too was my new status I can take 2-3 weeks off ...get ur sources straight before you make promises that will not hold true in the future- it has almost screwed us up before (no longer an argument mind you- it is now lots and lots of shouting)
B- ..... If u are so sick of my job bring the divorce papers and I will sign it

NB- interestingly the job was all that B needed to be happy in this world, not ever meeting or knowing G.

Ok now
G- we did not talk much of last week
B2- well sorry about that...I am not sure how you keep up with those long hours but I have yet to get used to mine. did u have any suggestions in mind?
G- well maybe since u call pretty early- I will start going to bed early so that I can just wake up the same time as you- i can even start going out to the gym in th mornings now.
B2- o ok. hopefully it gets better
No arguments- G and B2 did not humiliate themselves but tried to reach a compromise together. I am happy that I love my job, and I knew what I was getting myself into. What I have expected, I have had the priviledge to even experience more. The only thing my life is missing is my extreme closeness to God is depreciated. I hope this teaches you guys how to avoid an argument. American men are good at avoinding an argument with their spouse because they mostly use the second dialogue and they are happy and go to bed happy and sometimes even get breakfast in the morning. But good luck to ethnic men because their pride is what makes their home unstable. Sometimes just asking whoever brought up the issue why they r bringing it up or what they want out of it, or what solutions they have in mind instead of trying to call her a nagging biatch or always complaining.
Take care y'all- hope this helps y'all. Love ya all

How Important Are Women To Their Men?

Think about the above question carefully... how important are you when you are not cooking them meals or having sex, or is it that you have no little ones running around for him.  And it could be his fault but he does not want to find out- it is just easier blaming you for it.  Or do you have a husband, that wants to hear only the negatives from your voice- remember when you blamed me for this and that.  But hey! what happened to when I commended you for this and that etc .... Only then, do you then begin to see signs of how you are of no good to them.  How many times, did he make a promise and failed to keep that promise?  how many times have you found yourself crying? was it not only yesterday that you referred to him as your BFF.  Sistas, how many times did you have to scream or cry for him to hear you and I don't mean pretend to hear you- I mean really hear you?  It is never too late to bring it up before you become too tired of crying and end up doing something that may not end well for everyone.  Today is a happy and fulfilling day in the sweet bitter life of an igbo princess.  

PS- You know a lot is going on currently in my life- I just got through a miscarriage, I work a lot and I can't keep up with myself not to talk of others, I have a big board exam coming up and yet none of these things are as stressful as what I'm going through with my family.  Thanks for all of your prayers. 

Why Do Our Loved Ones Hurt Us The Most?

Since I was a little child I wondered the answer to this question.  I love my family but whenever I was hurt, it usually has something to do with them.  I later realized that it is because we make ourselves most vulnerable to our loved ones, maybe because, we don't expect them to hurt us.  And most of the time, they don't mean to hurt us (I hope at least) but it just happens.  

I get very upset when I am misunderstood, or when I let things slide, or when I don't want to ruin the moment, and yet the event repeats itself.  Interestingly, this is the topic of the day at least twice a month in my family.  The problem sometimes is too many people say I'm sorry just to quickly get off the loop.  However, it is more of a failure when you have that exact same argument, that same unresolved issue repeat itself.  Why? because you never understood why the other one was so angry or hurt, you never understood what the big deal was or you just didn't care to understand what the big deal was.

We all need a book to read on how to treat our loved ones because at some point that hurt will build up inside us and will enable us to stay far far away from those that continue to hurt us.  We have to learn how to talk to our loved ones especially as soon as we see that we have hurt them, no matter how right we felt we were and we must learn how to do it without criticism.  I say this because we will all die someday and at the end of this note could be my last breath but yet I am still hurt. 

I still I'm unsure of the answer to my question.  Please feel free to enlighten me if you do however I will stop here now and until next time.  This is a gloomy day in my sweet bitter life.

Thought you all might enjoy this

Haters/ By Maya Angelou

 

A hater is someone who is jealous and envious and spends all their

time trying to make you look small so they can look tall.

They are very negative people to say the least.  Nothing is ever

good enough!

When you make your mark, you will always attract some haters...

That's why you have to be careful with whom you share your

blessings and your dreams, because some folk can't handle seeing

you blessed...

It's dangerous to be like somebody else... If God wanted you to be

like somebody else, He would have given you what He gave them!  Right?

You never know what people have gone through to get what they

have...

The problem I have with haters is that they see my glory, but they

don't know my story...

If the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence, you

can rest assured that the water bill is higher there too!

We've all got some haters among us!

Some people envy you because you can:

    a) Have a relationship with God

    b) Light up a room when you walk in

    c) Start your own business

    d) Tell a man/woman to hit the curb

      (if he/she isn't about the right thing)

      e) Raise your children without both parents being

        in the home

Haters can't stand to see you happy.

Haters will never want to see you succeed.

Most of our haters are people who are supposed to be

on our side.

 

How do you handle your undercover haters?

You can handle these haters by:

 

          1. Knowing who you are & who your true friends are

              *(VERY IMPORTANT!!)

 

              2. Having a purpose to your life: Purpose does not

    ;            mean having a job. You can have a job and still be

              unfulfilled.

A purpose is having a clear sense of what God has called you to be.

Your purpose is not defined by what others think about you.

 

          3. By remembering what you have is by divine

                  prerogative and not human manipulation.

Fulfill your dreams!  You only have one life to live...when its your

time to leave this earth, you want to be able to say, 'I've lived my

life and fulfilled my dreams, Now I'm ready to go HOME!

When God gives you favor, you can tell your haters, 'Don't look at

me...Look at who is in charge of me...'

A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ, that a man should have to seek him first to find her

The time draws near

o for many things...everyday draws us closer to the end of our stay here, everyday draws us closer to our union as a family again, children, many many things.  However, that is not what is on my mind.  Do you remember the tale I once shared with you about Cobweb and Dust.  Well very soon, with God's help Angel will soon be free.  And will no longer be a topic of ridicule.  No matter how angry I may get sometime I always pray for you.  God bless you and deliver you.

All Lies my dear

I cannot stand the feeling that I have been lied to, and even though sorry doesn't change the past, not apologizing makes things worst.  Isn't it amazing when your actions hurt the other, instead of your spending time wondering how you can fix it and how you can change so that the incident will never repeat itself.  You look for things that will remind you of how you are such a better person than the one you hurt. ..."If it were me that will never have made me mad"..."he/she is so sensitive"..."any little thing sets them off"...the mistake that some of us make is we think out loud and even hurt the other even more.  Meanwhile, the things you need to apologize for is adding up. Sometimes, I get tired of repeating myself that I just avoid the situation entirely or go to the highest power (GOD).  I study and pay attention to people because I like to do things not to upset the people around me but I always wonder why no one pays attention to me so that they can refrain from doing things that hurt me.  How can you have the same arguments more than once? that should be impossible- sometimes I go through that with my siblings and friends.  

I adjust to new environment very quickly- it is a good thing and a bad thing.  Good thing about it is readjustment and all the good things that comes with it.  The bad thing is you get very used to being by yourself and you learn to do without your loved ones.  Same is true if I decide I don't need people in my life any longer- especially if they stress me more than they make me happy.

Hopefully, this year will be better.

Wow ...it is 2009!

2009 is going to be a great year and I can feel it. I had my wonderful husband by myself for christmas and for New Years. And we've had the best times, just spending time with each other and taking care of each other. One good thing about spending time with family is you notice how lucky you are. Anyways, this year will be an awesome one.
My family will be coming up to visit, a new president with a change, weddings, babies, new promotions, travel, vacations- I love the smell of good things. I pray that all continues to go well for me and my family and I look forward to all of the good things. I pray that this year brings good things for everyone- Happy New Year y'all! I love y'all!