Ok I have not met any mom who actually tied the knot with their son but I know two young ladies who their mothers-in-law are doing everything in their power to drive them out of their homes. I am not sure what to make of the craziness except the mother-in-law must feel like there is someone else out there better for her son.
Ok both ladies are very beautiful and great, hardworking mothers and were doing ok with their husbands until mother-in-law came to "visit", set up shop and refused to leave. Both ladies have being married for at least five years with 3 and four children respectively. Their marriage had their usual ups and downs but nothing big really happened.
So these ladies (unrelated) called me within 2 weeks telling me they are leaving their home with their children since the marriage is not working out. So here I was, thinking it was one of the normal ups and downs a couple may have (I have my usual suggestions), and I brought up for them to try counseling, marriage workshops, even bring it to the attention of the family in Nigeria.... One of the ladies was open to it if it means her mother-in-law left their marital home (hmmm). My husband added "easy fix! simply get a police order and uproot the woman from your home." The other made it clear to me that she is done since her mother-in-law said during one of their arguments that she actually does not mind marrying her son, and added laughing this is America anything goes. really? I didn't know this?
The first wifey tells me that their relationship was not perfect so she thought that if momcy-in-law came she would help out more with the kids, so that her and hubby will rekindle their love. But it was the opposite. Wifey would come back from school and work and the mother-in-law has prepared a meal, ate it with her son, and they both go to sleep leaving her three children till 11 pm on a school night (waiting for their mother to return and feed them).
The man decided at the beginning of the year that to please his mom (who for some reason hates his wife) he will stop eating his wife's cooking and eat his mom's instead.
On the days he is feeling his wife he takes her out for breakfast (something they enjoyed doing together before all these) he lies to his mom that wifey is taking him to his doctor's appointment and the doctor asked that he fast prior to the visit. (hmmm) As if it is not enough at night when he wants to be intimate with his wife, he brings their youngest child so that his momcy will not be suspicious. Of What! I screamed Suspicious of What! what de heck! is this April Fools Day? ok at this point my ear was having chills and I asked her for a break to think. Her voice sounded like someone that had been beaten down and she said it is affecting my children please don't ask me to be patient, everyone has been telling me that. I just had some questions about applying for nursing school. I asked how long this had been going on and she said three years. So I advised her to do whatever she felt was best for her and her children. I guessed at this point she must have tried sending the old woman back to wherever she came from but I didn't want to ask, she sounded so drained and ready to walk away. I pray for God's strength for her. We ended with me thinking of all the things I would have done if I was in that same situation....what would you do?
The other wifey, who is in a similar situation had mentioned in the past off and on about her mother-in-law but I always felt it is no different than if your annoying brother came to live with you. But this time she kept repeating "you cannot imagine" and went on to tell me that her mother-in-law formed a habit of preparing meals for only her and her son (mama-in-law by the way is jobless and not contributing to their life in any way or form even to teach the kids their local dialet). On thanksgiving day, wifey asked that mother-in-law respect the fact that it is a special day and allow her to cook for her family (inviting her to join in as well). The husband hears this and surprisingly did not object (as he normally does) but his mom starts shouting"ehn! I don't need you to cook for me, whether it is in the name of thanksgiving; is the stove not meant for four pots and why can't it fit the both of us; and my son pays for this house so I have more right to cook here and will cook right next to anybody i want and I will see which one my son will eat." (this is in the wife's own kitchen) This whole time hubby is reading a newspaper.
When the kids come home from school and look for their mama to show her their school, mother-in-law cuts in that she is a better mama and what do they need their mom for. Next time they should run right to her. When wifey would get a compliment at church, the mother-in-law will cut in proclaiming how gorgeous she was during her youth and if only her son knew he would have been more picky. At this point I started to laugh because I feel like the mommy-in-law has gone coo coo. Just imagine you had your time and refuse to allow your son his time and the sad thing is the son allows his mom to terrorize the wife.
Both of these young ladies both mothers-in-law love it when they and hubby fights. In fact they will sit with their sons and make a mockery of it, sometimes the mother-in-law will lie to her son to purposefully instigate a fight. I guess it really is true that men have a weak spot for their moms but what I don't understand if these men in particular have thought it through or if they are thinking their wives cannot live without them. Because my thought is, if the wives leave with the children, then what? do they live happily ever after with their moms? I pray for strength for these people because I cannot imagine living like this.
