For the purpose of this post I will call this good Samaritan- Mrs. BB. Mrs BB came to welcome me as she somehow found out that I am originally from Nigeria and since she is from the same continent she wanted to welcome me. I was very surprised and happy until she wouldn't stop talking and wanted to dive right into my private life. Here are a few of her comments- "Ok! you just joined your husband?- good!" "Thank God your daughter looks like the father"- "It is time for the next baby? you know you are not getting younger" I couldn't even respond to many of her comments/questions because she is very good at what I call sentence vomit.
It baffles me how some find it difficult to focus on just their life alone- you know the one that God gave them. They almost seem to enjoy making unnecessary suggestions. I wanted to respond to so many of her comments... Like what do you mean thank God she looks like her father! Can I completely enjoy this child before you pressure me to drop the next one or can I enjoy my husband a little before you arrive with your annoying comments.
What was interesting was I thought I was the only one that found her annoying and promised myself that I will give her a chance before I draw my final conclusions especially since I am yet to make friends here. So I went to this African Hair Braiding Salon and a group of women started talking about a "lady" and how annoying she can be with her suggestions and how she oversteps her boundaries. One woman shared how "this Lady" suggested that her 5 year old daughter could get into better Universities in the future if she was in a gifted school. And another woman mentioned how "the lady" told her that maybe she should sign her daughter for music lessons so that her daughter wouldn't suck at dancing ... I was quiet the whole time because 1) I love talks at salon especially African salons- since my hair takes forever I really seek out salons that have great gist :) 2) I thought it was hilarious at first to hear how angry these women were with "this lady" but then it went on and on and then the owner of the salon mentioned how annoying it was that when she tried to mention to "this Lady" of her bad habits and how it is starting to get to her customers. "This lady" started shouting "which customers! what are their names!"and then the lady threatened to go elsewhere to get her hair braided and even mentioned that she will drag her friends with her. The other women in the store chorused "leave her-let her go! which friends!" I wanted to bust out laughing but they were very serious.
And at that very moment a thought came to me that since I am new in town I really ought to know who "this lady" is so that I can avoid her, and to my utmost surprise she was Mrs BB. How have you guys dealt with the busy bodies?
8 comments:
Blessings......
hmmmmmmmmmm..... I call it politely in your place.
"Thank you for your counsel madam BB however I am grown and while I appreciate some of your suggestions you are going over the line. I would like for us to remain cordial to each other as long as you remember your place and respect my right as a human being to govern my life as I see fit and I in turn will do the same for you."
I had such an incident once, she was a woman that visited my "grandfather" often, if you know what i mean (hehe). She drank a lot and it was seldom pretty. Fast forward years later I am in the St. Lawerance market with my BFF when i felt someone's gaze on me, I turned and followed the pull of the stare. I landed on this woman that looked vaguely familiar to me. I kept looking squinting my eyes trying to clear the fog when she said, "rhapsody?" I said yes, the next words out her mouth was, girl you still fat. I didn't wait for her to finish the statement because at the moment bells went off and i remembered who she was. Without missing a beat I said loudly in the market place, "Oh you still drinking and getting drunk all over the place, or you sober, I almost didn't recognize you since I don't remember ever seeing you sober." girl she spin around so fast i thought she head was going to fall off, she started speaking fast fast all of a sudden she had to run she is so busy, the woman take off so quick i didn't have time say bye. I turned to see my bff in gales of laughter tears running down her face and she trying to catch her breath telling me, 'oh rhapsody, that was sooo bad, you didn't have to go there, she said between bouts or laughter.' my response, well...she should know better and show more respect especially to someone who know her business.
I dont believe in going behind people's back and talking about grievances they may have trespass against me, I set them straight, right there and then. If they don't like it tough but if they can dish it out they best prepare to eat it.
Just set this woman straight, you don't have to do it loudly, you can very gently put her in her place. if that fails and after a couple more tries she presist, well then the gloves are off and she will have to be embrassed, loudly and abnoxiously.
I always try to take the kindest route however if that does not work then I reserve the right to use any means necessary.
peace..
Rhahpsody
http://twitter.com/rhapsodyphoenix
peace...
Lol at rhapsody's encounter with her grandpas's friend...
I don't think you should mention anything to her though because from her comments from the hair dresser it is obvious that she doesn't deal with criticisms well and the last thing you want is for her to start saying bad things about you esp as you are new. Even though people know her to be a bb, people still listen to things said about others esp if they don't yet know them.
My take is for you to stay off from her as much as possible, say hi with a lovely smile whenever you see her and make it a point of contact NEVER to mention anything about your family or private life to her.By the time, she notices that you are really difficult to pin down yet so friendly, she will find another person to go and siddon with ; )
I live in Nigeria where there is no such thing as minding your business.
Please do not let me start on neighbor! Blogger would run out of storage space.
I lost a lot of weight once and an old man in my neighbourhood stopped short of asking if I had AIDS.
@Rhapsody LMBO at your comment, thanks for the cut throat advice, I am glad that you put the BB in check- she will think about it the next time. Lol at the visit your grandpa often.
@Anony thanks for the tip it is true that people tend to pay attention to gossip.
@Natural Nigerian it is sad that someone asked such a foolish and naive question. Just because one lost weight doesn't mean they have HIV and there are so many HIV patient's that are in a healthy weight.
People like to listen to gossip. Everyone complaining and people cannot confront her. Just avoid her jor. I remember one neighbor who said i was taking care of my kids while my husband was in the US womanizing that before I would know it, he would be marrying a second wife. I politely told her thank you, and then told her to allow me handle my headache since it wasnt her business. Can you believe she went around the same neighborhood saying that I said i said my husband was carrying women? The best thing is just to avoid BB and don't even entertain them when they bring other people's gist
Ummm... "Thank God she looks like her father." Are you FREAKING KIDDING ME?! Oh man, you handled that one VERY well. Not so sure if I would have been so polite. Thank goodness there's blog world and a place to vent.
And LOL at "sentence vomit." I know of some people like that who just won't STOP talking.
@Rhapsody, that is EXACTLY how I would have handled it o! Just let everyone know you and you know them. Next time they will not even think of bringing the gist. I don't believe in the gradual phasing out method because some people just CANNOT GET A CLUE.
LMAO. @Rhapsody's encounter.
I dont know of how best to deal with Mrs BB's situation other than to avoid her when you can and when you cant, turn to a "lukman"..just dey look her dey go as she dey yarn her opata!
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