Happy Birthday To Me

What a great beginning and end of today.  I woke up to a text from my friend from Nigeria, whom I was very surprised remembered my birthday.  She gave me a great laugh ...the text was the song "onye ga gbegwu? - iyaaaa, ga gbegwu iya; Nenyenwa ga gbegwu, iyaaaa, ga gbegwu iya, o bi fere ne me gi ... and she ended with happy bday and my special blessings.  I had that song in my head the rest of the day and it put a smile in my face. 
Then I had some voice messages, one from my brother who is two years younger than me and shares the same birthday as me.  For years now he has this competition of who would call each other first and he called me at midnight eastern time (I was already in bed) and I am one hour behind him.  So today when I called him I told him he actually lost this year (by accident anyways) since it was not yet my birthday central time :). 
Then I went to church and enjoyed passion Sunday- I also got to make my palms into cross.  It took me back to my childhood in Nigeria- it was the best part of palm sunday because we got to make different things with our palms.  Then I came home to a cell phone filled with voice and text messages of people singing happy bdays- my parents, my other brother, sisters, cousins, close friends , and the phones kept ringing.  I also got flowers from my boyfriend/husband-

thoughtful of him all the way from his deployment.  He also got a few hours in port and instead of hanging out with the boys he spent it on a skype call listening to me and telling me how gorgeous I looked and how much he missed me and the baby.  I updated him on things that were going on in the house and outside- including the recent Nigeria elections.  It was great hearing from him. 
The calls continued but I had to prepare some food for the baby shower/b-day party my colleagues were throwing for me.  They wanted a Nigerian dish but I had such little time and so I prepared jollof rice and puff puff (the puff-puff was inspired by a fellow blogger 9jafoodie). It turned out great and it was all gone except for some chicken scratch.  The jollof rice came out spicy and I thought the oyibo people wouldn't like it- umm they loved it and even appreciated the spicy test.  I actually make my jollof rice first like fried rice because I like the test of the curry; I fry my rice first in curry and canola oil, put my oregano, rosemary and thyme, then my tomato sauce, I added this a little beans, shrimp, shredded beef, mixed vege exactly how hubby likes it.  It came out great but spicy.  It is hard for me to eat non-spicy foods and it got worst since I became pregnant- I hope wal-mart never runs out of habanero peppers.  lol
The baby shower was a second out of four; the first one was by my nurses, the third one is by my sisters and mom and the fourth one (I think) is from my medical school buddies.  I have gotten so much gifts- clothes, diapers, stroller, swinger, toys, books, breastfeeding supplies and so on. I am already afraid of this little one being so spoiled. 

It was so nice to share my birthday with my little one, I had a wonderful time and the whole time he/she danced around as if aware of what was going on.  Well here are some pictures, I've got to get busy with some thank you cards.  God bless you all and I hope your day was as good as mine.

Single Moms

Kudos to single moms- I really do admire all of the single moms including those who choose to adopt.  Please in no way am I encouraging those who choose to do this just for the fun of having a baby- children are not toys. I have a new found respect for them.

I always wanted this pregnancy, in fact I worked hard for this baby lol.  My husband and I see each other one weekend a month; sometimes we are unlucky and we skip a month (because of our jobs) or sometimes it is worst and we don't see each other for a while.  Example last year, hubby and I didn't see each other for 8 months out of the whole year (he was deployed for 7 and when he returned I was in Nigeria for a month). 

It is amazing that we've come this far...I felt like our friendship (5 years prior to matrimony) at the beginning prepared us for all this.  We always lived long distance and treasured our visits and time together; we kept in touch via email; phone and text messaging.  When I say we kept in touch; I don't mean hi and bye, naw we had some 4-5 hours conversations; sometimes till the next day; we prayed every night together; sometimes we watched movies together (push the button at the same time) etc.  He became my best friend and I became his; we got to a point we wouldn't even make decisions without each other and so on...Now you see how this prepared us for this crazy journey we tried for three years.  It was not intentional- Hubby was supposed to come with me and then last minute got this great opportunity in the Navy and made the decision to stay till he retires.  He had already served for 11 years and I felt bad holding him back.  And as prayerful as I am, I felt that we could make it.  Having made it, I will not do it again and I will not advice anyone to do it. Why?

I did not marry to only see him once a month; I did not marry to pay money (flight) to see him; I did not marry to pay double of every bill (mortgage, water, gas and so on); I did not marry to not be in another state when I say my bed time prayers or to wake up and not be near him; I did not marry to share only certain days out of the year with him; I did not marry to come home and not have anyone there to share my day to day excitements and toils with; I did not marry to cook and eat alone ... I can go on and on. 

We are both happy because we both have always found favor in God's eyes, and some days are though heart aching but the happy days are many and we are glad that the separation is near its end. 

Anyways so back to the pregnancy- I always was ready because I didn't want to wait too long and at first hubby didn't like the idea because he wanted us to travel first and have the freedom to do that. He wanted a year and I thought that it was reasonable.  Although I hesitated, it has been great ... one of our overseas trip was to Italy (we got to spend our anniversary there); I also got to go to Nigeria to work for a month at NAUTH.  Trying to achieve pregnancy was difficult especially when you only have once chance- I tried planning every weekend visits around my ovulation and as if God was trying to tell me to chill out; he would deliberately make it on a week day (lol); I even got to a point that I started to worry that I couldn't get pregnant and asked for a sign (be careful what you wish for)- mine was a very early miscarriage.  God said you can get pregnant but not now; I relaxed a little and then it happened when all seemed right; we would be expecting around the same time we would be in one house; I will no longer have the stress of being a resident; I will be near my family in case of when we want to take time for ourselves.

Being pregnant alone has been hard; and I am not completely alone because I have the phone to reach hubby when I want, plus we discovered skype after 2 years of our long-distance marriage.  I often wonder how single moms make the decision to carry the pregnancy when the men abandons them and then not to talk about the strength to keep them or to give them up for adoption to those who do not have the privilege to have children. 

I had emotional days; times that my husband tried to be there but I pushed him away because of all the hormone surge and he continued to do all he could to cheer me on.  Then I was so sick and sometimes he will cry with me because he couldn't be there for me.  Then he educated himself and learned that second trimester was more promising but it traded for a new set of problems but he knew how hard I fought the urge to complain and he would just say it is ok- we will get through it.  And will remind me how much time flies and I would agree.  But in my mind I would say only for you; for he comes every 4 or more weeks and notes the difference but everyday I saw my body change; my boobs got bigger; my butt got bigger; my nipples got sore and then darker; my eyelids got darker; the linea alba (the midline in the abdomen) appeared; my belly got bigger and so on...everyday I noticed something different in my body. 

Then third trimester came and I got tired; I could barely complete the chores by myself; my exercise routine was getting harder each day; and hubby finally saw how much the pregnancy was affecting me- because he would watch me stop to rest but he was right there again by my side, giving me a break; massaging my back etc; he got ahead and we teamed up and made our baby's room.  I appreciated everything and it made me wonder how much the single mom's go through and also how much God looks out for me; because how could I have done this if hubby wasn't here even the few times.  I am even afraid of the few little months I will be myself with the newborn and wonder how these single moms cope. 

May God find someone for all of them even if it is only as few times as hubby was present.

NB: two great news today; learned that two friends of mine are expecting; for one of them it is her and her husband's first and for the other it is their second and they also said their nuptials.  congrats to the both of u!

Too long

Ok so my dearest blog, I sure have ignored you for far too long and I am sad that my reasons may not be good enough for you :( Please accept my apology.  I also want to thank Oluwatobi for the generous blog award.  I think I may not have noticed it in time.  A lot has happened since 19kiridi when I last blogged but hey I have baby bump pictures to share :)

  I have been catching up on a lot of residency related stuff since I am quite the procrastinator.  Everything is due right around when baby is planned to arrive.  Also we have been preparing for the residency review board- talk about high stress.  I am also preparing for my board exam.  And then to top it all I have been preparing my mind and heart for hubby's deployment. 
Also, since there is a chance that hubby may not be present for the birth of our first born, I had to stop everything else and spend all that quality time with my one and only.  I also gave him a chance to make up for his possible and previous absence :).  By previous, I mean that Hubby and I have lived in two different states since shortly after our marriage; this is because of our jobs; it has been 3 years now and we have done well but it sure was not easy.  (The pictures were taken on our 3 year church wedding anniversary. ) We are counting the days we will get to live together under one roof...anyways, for this reason I dealt with the miserable first trimester by myself, the awkward second trimester and finally I am dancing to the tunes of the third trimester.  Yes things continue to get better.
I took some days off and really chillaxed with hubby and we caught up on foot rubs; we went for a pedicure; went around a shopping plaza; watched a movie; played with little baby in my womb and laughed at each other; called our 9ja people at home; celebrated our anniversary and took some maternity shots.  And then it came time to say good bye until ... (hopefully in time for the delivery).  But I am prepared for if he doesn't show up because I plan on staying with a friend for a week and then maybe borrowing my friend, or one of the maternity nurses that I work with for a husband. 
The delivery hubby requirement's are simple (since no one can ever replace the Mr.) 1) encourage me even though I may suck at pushing; 2) feed me ice-chips whenever I ask for them; 3) hold my hands when I need you; 4) and when the baby comes tell me that the baby is the most gorgeous being you ever saw whether you think it or not.

See you don't even have to get into it or take pictures.  Ok so I am already starting to make plans to burn all of the excess weight, which I will write about later. Below is a picture of me 3-4 years ago (prior to our wedding) and right next to it is the beauty of pregnancy.

Good bye and pray for my husband and the rest of the troops.

Naming

I just met someone who insisted that she wanted a girl and nothing else; the rest of her family didn't mind either way but they had a worried look on their faces hoping that it wouldn't be a girl.  I didn't know why and I didn't ask but I was worried that she was not going to care for the child if it were a boy.  It turned out to be a girl and I learned later that the reason why she wanted a girl was because she had chosen a very special name.  That I will tell you later.
One of the exciting things for me is to hear the names that people have chosen for their growing little ones; now I have heard all sort of names- most of them are beautiful and thoughtful and some of them are just wrong! and their reasons even more wrong and each time I think this has got to be the worst, I hear a new one. 
Examples: "Amillion Dallas" (the goal is to attain a million dollars) except when that poor child gets older, a million dollars may be just chicken change and she would think what on earth were they thinking; "Gonorrhea" because mom found out that she had the infection and the baby daddy gave it to her- ok why does the child have to suffer for it? or maybe she felt it sounded medical?; "Emanon"- now this one might fool you but if you spell if backwards it is no name, the parents couldn't think of a good name for her-if I were this chick I would come up with a true meaning and spread it around so that it may end up in the internet because truthfully it doesn't sound horrible ; one person named her baby Beautiphul Unique- it didn't sound bad but wait till you hear the full name- Beautiful Unique Dick- ok  no comment.
Please do not get me wrong you are entitled to naming your child but you don't need to enlighten the days of those employees of the social security office with your child's names- they will be just fine.  Don't make out God's precious gift to you to be a joke.  Think about your child applying for medical school or a job with the name Beautiphul Unique Dick or do you not have bigger dreams for your child?  Do not reduce your child to jokes from their peers in school. 
You can be unique all you want but I know you can do better for your child's sake.  Your child's name is not all about you, so if you are angry, or over excited or whatever emotions that is running through those pregnant heads....if unsure run it by a close friend that will be truthful to you and if you want to be safe pick a biblical name and call it a day. 
Anyways, the most recent one that motivated me to write this blog is the name - "Apartofme" WTH??????? I almost screamed out why don't you name the kid Placenta! or Uterus! or Breast! just to remind the child later that she is a part of you! 
On that very note, I am still working on mine (praying) and you will find out the name when the baby arrives.  It is a little tough for me because I have to come up with a boy and a girl name since I opted not to know the sex of the baby and I have to provide a name prior to leaving the hospital.

PS- I find myself writing more and more about babies and pregnancy- this baby can't already be taking over?  I will do myself to mix it up and keep it interesting... enjoy!

The joys that the little one brings

So some of the exciting things for me about "carrying belle" (pregnancy) are the experiences that remind me that there is a little one in my belly.  Some of them were awful- to mention a few tiredness, nausea without vomiting, and constant urination and so on.  Nausea without vomiting is awful because I feel that if I just vomit I would feel so much better- who knows.
But there is good news because as the pregnancy progress some of these awful symptoms leaves you and a new pregnancy reminder replaces it.  I was so excited to get rid of the constant tiredness and the nausea without vomiting, but now it takes me 7 minutes to tie my shoes (you can laugh all you want but yes I am starting to time it).  I am glad that there is no one to laugh while I am doing it.  Now everyone that talks to me on the phone says "are you ok why are you breathing so heavily ughh!!!" Another exciting one is I had been enjoying the occasional kicks of my little ones- now he/she constantly kicks at the wrong times and very hard.  Sometimes it is while I am in conference and I want to hear the rest of the 5 minutes, instead of going to the restroom to empty my bladder and then comes the kick right on my bladder.  One time I jumped up and as embarrassed as I was just ran to the bathroom.  I wished the baby was right in front of me so that I could just scold him or her.  And as I walked out I had to face the dreaded questions from my colleagues- "hey what was that all about?"
The new thing now is baby sleeps when I am awake and plays while I am trying to sleep.  One day I didn't know what else to do and I know that at these stage they can hear noises so I started to talk to my baby - "could you just please let mummy sleep for a few hours" and the kicking stopped like he/she was listening then as soon as I laid down it resumed.  And so I wondered maybe my voice is what calms him/her to sleep and so when I'm quiet it goes crazy to get me to speak. Men who knows! I still wish my bedtime for now will just match because I know I need the rest right now that he/she is still in my womb.
All in all the little one does bring a smile to my face although very active.

Belly is now too outstretched to hide :)

This weekend was catchup weekend and I got most of it done except for the kitchen; it is not quite the way I want it.  Anyways on another note, ladies do not estimate the power of pregnancy- yes I'm pregnant.  Although the baby finds away to remind me everyday (which I appreciate since I turned into a worrying bee) I often forget since I live by myself most of the time and I've learned to remain self reliant.  The other day I made an attempt to push my car out of the ditch of snow, since none of my neighbors was at home- I mean completely forgetting for a second that I was carrying someone else.  Then not to count how many times I took of running because I was late or trying to catch up to someone and then stop when the stares remind me of my condition .... and so on
I think the tiredness is my most annoying symptom so far and the nausea is next runner up.  I just want to keep on going but there are frequent drawbacks such as to stop to catch my breath; to stop to pee; to just take a break and so on.  So chores has gone for a few hours to forever but hey for this little one it is well worth it. 
One thing I realize since this little munchkin has been growing in my belly is how even more important I value family.  I catch myself thinking far ahead like how I will raise this little one; if I could teach him/her to be as mature and independent.  If I will home school? If he/she will get sick of hearing about the amazing things God has done in our lives. Sometimes, I break into little exciting memories of my childhood, some of the games we (my siblings and I) played, I have been writing them down as I remember them, because I want to capture as much as I can to share with my child.  Especially, since I have no pictures, oh this kid is going to think mummy is so old since there were no cameras during her time :)  I have also been surfing the web for books I loved to read growing up; and men I came across some folk tales I wrote down as a kid and I can't wait to share.  I hope my children embrace all of their heritage like I do; I hope they have a wonderful childhood. 

“The things which the child loves remain in the domain of the heart until old age. The most beautiful thing in life is that our souls remaining over the places where we once enjoyed ourselves” Kahil Gibran

I think I am becoming weird I still have a couple of more months for this kid to lovingly kick the heck out of me. :)

 

A Tribute to Saleha Huuda

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/2011/02/03/2011-02-03_two_arrested_in_murder_of_university_of_florida_cheerleader_saleha_huuda_exboyfr.html

Leha dead? your death is still a shock to me? A victim of domestic violence? ... why didn't any of us see this coming? why couldn't anyone save you from their wicked hands? why did you have to die?  You had so much to contribute to this world; and who would have known that there was someone out there who was evil enough to shorten your life.  I always wondered how a tiny person had that much lung capacity lol- you had so much to say and so much energy.
How could he have known you, or ever heard you laugh and still killed you with his hands.  I thought I would feel better when the case was solved but I have mixed emotions.  I finally decided to watch your tribute video yesterday and couldn't stop crying - all of the memories came flowing.  It never dawned on me how close a wicked person can be; I used to be afraid to run on the streets of Gainesville in the dark (not particularly Gainesville- anywhere), sometimes we held dance practice late because people had things to do.

http://www.gainesville.com/article/20110203/MULTIMEDIA/110209760/0/ARTICLES?Title=Multimedia-Timeline-of-Saleha-Huuda-case

Thank you for your continuous fight to help all of us bear your loss; I believe you directed the investigators to the hands that killed you.  The truth always comes to light doesn't it?  My prayers are with your family and all your loved ones; for continuous strength from God to help all of us bear your loss; for a breath of fresh air that your killers are out of the streets- so that this act will never again be repeated.  We could never replace you and will continue to remember you in the many memories you left us.  Rest In Peace Leha and may God, in his infinite mercy, be with your soul and bless you until we meet again.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GrfDaygBEzs