Too long

Ok so my dearest blog, I sure have ignored you for far too long and I am sad that my reasons may not be good enough for you :( Please accept my apology.  I also want to thank Oluwatobi for the generous blog award.  I think I may not have noticed it in time.  A lot has happened since 19kiridi when I last blogged but hey I have baby bump pictures to share :)

  I have been catching up on a lot of residency related stuff since I am quite the procrastinator.  Everything is due right around when baby is planned to arrive.  Also we have been preparing for the residency review board- talk about high stress.  I am also preparing for my board exam.  And then to top it all I have been preparing my mind and heart for hubby's deployment. 
Also, since there is a chance that hubby may not be present for the birth of our first born, I had to stop everything else and spend all that quality time with my one and only.  I also gave him a chance to make up for his possible and previous absence :).  By previous, I mean that Hubby and I have lived in two different states since shortly after our marriage; this is because of our jobs; it has been 3 years now and we have done well but it sure was not easy.  (The pictures were taken on our 3 year church wedding anniversary. ) We are counting the days we will get to live together under one roof...anyways, for this reason I dealt with the miserable first trimester by myself, the awkward second trimester and finally I am dancing to the tunes of the third trimester.  Yes things continue to get better.
I took some days off and really chillaxed with hubby and we caught up on foot rubs; we went for a pedicure; went around a shopping plaza; watched a movie; played with little baby in my womb and laughed at each other; called our 9ja people at home; celebrated our anniversary and took some maternity shots.  And then it came time to say good bye until ... (hopefully in time for the delivery).  But I am prepared for if he doesn't show up because I plan on staying with a friend for a week and then maybe borrowing my friend, or one of the maternity nurses that I work with for a husband. 
The delivery hubby requirement's are simple (since no one can ever replace the Mr.) 1) encourage me even though I may suck at pushing; 2) feed me ice-chips whenever I ask for them; 3) hold my hands when I need you; 4) and when the baby comes tell me that the baby is the most gorgeous being you ever saw whether you think it or not.

See you don't even have to get into it or take pictures.  Ok so I am already starting to make plans to burn all of the excess weight, which I will write about later. Below is a picture of me 3-4 years ago (prior to our wedding) and right next to it is the beauty of pregnancy.

Good bye and pray for my husband and the rest of the troops.

Naming

I just met someone who insisted that she wanted a girl and nothing else; the rest of her family didn't mind either way but they had a worried look on their faces hoping that it wouldn't be a girl.  I didn't know why and I didn't ask but I was worried that she was not going to care for the child if it were a boy.  It turned out to be a girl and I learned later that the reason why she wanted a girl was because she had chosen a very special name.  That I will tell you later.
One of the exciting things for me is to hear the names that people have chosen for their growing little ones; now I have heard all sort of names- most of them are beautiful and thoughtful and some of them are just wrong! and their reasons even more wrong and each time I think this has got to be the worst, I hear a new one. 
Examples: "Amillion Dallas" (the goal is to attain a million dollars) except when that poor child gets older, a million dollars may be just chicken change and she would think what on earth were they thinking; "Gonorrhea" because mom found out that she had the infection and the baby daddy gave it to her- ok why does the child have to suffer for it? or maybe she felt it sounded medical?; "Emanon"- now this one might fool you but if you spell if backwards it is no name, the parents couldn't think of a good name for her-if I were this chick I would come up with a true meaning and spread it around so that it may end up in the internet because truthfully it doesn't sound horrible ; one person named her baby Beautiphul Unique- it didn't sound bad but wait till you hear the full name- Beautiful Unique Dick- ok  no comment.
Please do not get me wrong you are entitled to naming your child but you don't need to enlighten the days of those employees of the social security office with your child's names- they will be just fine.  Don't make out God's precious gift to you to be a joke.  Think about your child applying for medical school or a job with the name Beautiphul Unique Dick or do you not have bigger dreams for your child?  Do not reduce your child to jokes from their peers in school. 
You can be unique all you want but I know you can do better for your child's sake.  Your child's name is not all about you, so if you are angry, or over excited or whatever emotions that is running through those pregnant heads....if unsure run it by a close friend that will be truthful to you and if you want to be safe pick a biblical name and call it a day. 
Anyways, the most recent one that motivated me to write this blog is the name - "Apartofme" WTH??????? I almost screamed out why don't you name the kid Placenta! or Uterus! or Breast! just to remind the child later that she is a part of you! 
On that very note, I am still working on mine (praying) and you will find out the name when the baby arrives.  It is a little tough for me because I have to come up with a boy and a girl name since I opted not to know the sex of the baby and I have to provide a name prior to leaving the hospital.

PS- I find myself writing more and more about babies and pregnancy- this baby can't already be taking over?  I will do myself to mix it up and keep it interesting... enjoy!

The joys that the little one brings

So some of the exciting things for me about "carrying belle" (pregnancy) are the experiences that remind me that there is a little one in my belly.  Some of them were awful- to mention a few tiredness, nausea without vomiting, and constant urination and so on.  Nausea without vomiting is awful because I feel that if I just vomit I would feel so much better- who knows.
But there is good news because as the pregnancy progress some of these awful symptoms leaves you and a new pregnancy reminder replaces it.  I was so excited to get rid of the constant tiredness and the nausea without vomiting, but now it takes me 7 minutes to tie my shoes (you can laugh all you want but yes I am starting to time it).  I am glad that there is no one to laugh while I am doing it.  Now everyone that talks to me on the phone says "are you ok why are you breathing so heavily ughh!!!" Another exciting one is I had been enjoying the occasional kicks of my little ones- now he/she constantly kicks at the wrong times and very hard.  Sometimes it is while I am in conference and I want to hear the rest of the 5 minutes, instead of going to the restroom to empty my bladder and then comes the kick right on my bladder.  One time I jumped up and as embarrassed as I was just ran to the bathroom.  I wished the baby was right in front of me so that I could just scold him or her.  And as I walked out I had to face the dreaded questions from my colleagues- "hey what was that all about?"
The new thing now is baby sleeps when I am awake and plays while I am trying to sleep.  One day I didn't know what else to do and I know that at these stage they can hear noises so I started to talk to my baby - "could you just please let mummy sleep for a few hours" and the kicking stopped like he/she was listening then as soon as I laid down it resumed.  And so I wondered maybe my voice is what calms him/her to sleep and so when I'm quiet it goes crazy to get me to speak. Men who knows! I still wish my bedtime for now will just match because I know I need the rest right now that he/she is still in my womb.
All in all the little one does bring a smile to my face although very active.

Belly is now too outstretched to hide :)

This weekend was catchup weekend and I got most of it done except for the kitchen; it is not quite the way I want it.  Anyways on another note, ladies do not estimate the power of pregnancy- yes I'm pregnant.  Although the baby finds away to remind me everyday (which I appreciate since I turned into a worrying bee) I often forget since I live by myself most of the time and I've learned to remain self reliant.  The other day I made an attempt to push my car out of the ditch of snow, since none of my neighbors was at home- I mean completely forgetting for a second that I was carrying someone else.  Then not to count how many times I took of running because I was late or trying to catch up to someone and then stop when the stares remind me of my condition .... and so on
I think the tiredness is my most annoying symptom so far and the nausea is next runner up.  I just want to keep on going but there are frequent drawbacks such as to stop to catch my breath; to stop to pee; to just take a break and so on.  So chores has gone for a few hours to forever but hey for this little one it is well worth it. 
One thing I realize since this little munchkin has been growing in my belly is how even more important I value family.  I catch myself thinking far ahead like how I will raise this little one; if I could teach him/her to be as mature and independent.  If I will home school? If he/she will get sick of hearing about the amazing things God has done in our lives. Sometimes, I break into little exciting memories of my childhood, some of the games we (my siblings and I) played, I have been writing them down as I remember them, because I want to capture as much as I can to share with my child.  Especially, since I have no pictures, oh this kid is going to think mummy is so old since there were no cameras during her time :)  I have also been surfing the web for books I loved to read growing up; and men I came across some folk tales I wrote down as a kid and I can't wait to share.  I hope my children embrace all of their heritage like I do; I hope they have a wonderful childhood. 

“The things which the child loves remain in the domain of the heart until old age. The most beautiful thing in life is that our souls remaining over the places where we once enjoyed ourselves” Kahil Gibran

I think I am becoming weird I still have a couple of more months for this kid to lovingly kick the heck out of me. :)

 

A Tribute to Saleha Huuda

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/2011/02/03/2011-02-03_two_arrested_in_murder_of_university_of_florida_cheerleader_saleha_huuda_exboyfr.html

Leha dead? your death is still a shock to me? A victim of domestic violence? ... why didn't any of us see this coming? why couldn't anyone save you from their wicked hands? why did you have to die?  You had so much to contribute to this world; and who would have known that there was someone out there who was evil enough to shorten your life.  I always wondered how a tiny person had that much lung capacity lol- you had so much to say and so much energy.
How could he have known you, or ever heard you laugh and still killed you with his hands.  I thought I would feel better when the case was solved but I have mixed emotions.  I finally decided to watch your tribute video yesterday and couldn't stop crying - all of the memories came flowing.  It never dawned on me how close a wicked person can be; I used to be afraid to run on the streets of Gainesville in the dark (not particularly Gainesville- anywhere), sometimes we held dance practice late because people had things to do.

http://www.gainesville.com/article/20110203/MULTIMEDIA/110209760/0/ARTICLES?Title=Multimedia-Timeline-of-Saleha-Huuda-case

Thank you for your continuous fight to help all of us bear your loss; I believe you directed the investigators to the hands that killed you.  The truth always comes to light doesn't it?  My prayers are with your family and all your loved ones; for continuous strength from God to help all of us bear your loss; for a breath of fresh air that your killers are out of the streets- so that this act will never again be repeated.  We could never replace you and will continue to remember you in the many memories you left us.  Rest In Peace Leha and may God, in his infinite mercy, be with your soul and bless you until we meet again.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GrfDaygBEzs

Teen Pregnancy- God help the little ones

It is scary how the minds of people have changed.  It used to be that parents taught their children not to get pregnant unless he married her, but now I hear all sorts of things.  This is a story about a patient of mine.  About a year and the half ago I met a young 16 year old naive girl in my office. She came to see me for an initial obstetrics visit (aka. IOB).

At the time, I gave her my usual teen pregnancy lecture, it got intense at some point and I remembered asking her mom to leave the room because she kept laughing and wasn't taking me seriously.  After that visit, to the surprise of my staff, the young lady followed up with all of her appointments until eventually she dissappeared off the face of the earth and we were unsure of what happened to her. 

A few months later, which was months past her due date, she came in to my office pregnant and I was very confused because she should have had the baby.  That day to my dismay I learned that this was a new pregnancy and she miscarried the last one.  I felt like a worthless doctor, I had wasted my time talking to her and she was given a chance to start her life anew but instead is back in my office for ob care.  With tears in my eyes, I asked to talk this time with the whole family including this boyfriend.  During this meeting I learned a lot about this family's values, my patient's mom at one point said "you no doc, amo tell you the truth, we allow her boyfriend live with her in her room, that way we least know the father of her baby." 

I was filled with silence at first but eventually found my voice and asked her parents if they were married and they said yes.  And I asked her why she couldn't teach her daughter to be married, or finish school first.  I wanted to know why exactly she was instilling in her daughter that it was well for another man to take pride and half ownership of her body without respecting her enough to commit himself.  I went on to tell her that whatever little self esteem her daughter has, by bringing her up this way she had made it worst.  And her response to me was "Doctor ChiChi ah still thinks is beta for me, 'cause they gats people I know tha don't know who's the father of their grandbabies." Wow I thought...then I rest my case

Well I was present as the delivering physician,  and while handing her to the new mom I asked God to be with this child.  During her postpartum visit, I was prepared for her, I didn't want to give up on her futue.  We discussed intensely about prevention and finishing school and I was so sure that I made a connection. 

Well that newborn is not even a year old and I have another IOB visit with her, she is again 5 months pregnant.  So do I say congrats?  I enjoy delivering babies but I find myself saying less congratulations and doing more worrying.  I find it hard to congratulate a 14 year old on a pregnancy, or one who tested positive for cocaine and 2 other drugs, I just do my job.  Though I like the opportunity to make a difference, i must confess it is nice to see those couples who are stable and trying to start their little family.

How do they afford it? At their age I was trying to build a future with comfort (I was selfish), and even as my huasband and I plan, we are budgeting future costs and so on.  How are they so bold and fearless to not worry about bringing the little innocents with no finds>

I am getting ready to embrace My Stubborn Hair

When I was a little girl, I remembered my mom keeping my hair short, while my sister wore braids.  I never understood why, and one day when she got tired of me feeling left out, she asked me if I wanted to grow my hair out.  Well of course I said yes, for once I will look as beautiful as my sister, she always had the coolest braids ... well I remembered my mom fighting with my hair as she tried to comb through my hair.  I remembered we would both come out of the room angry after it was over. I dreaded those days and hence regretted that my decision. 
Everyone including the local stylist, encouraged my mom to perm my hair saying my hair was too stubborn and unique, well mom refused to perm our hairs and I heard her say "I refuse to raise fast girls and if she wants to cut it she always has that option." Lol- like perming your hair ultimately makes you fast. 
Now at this point, my mom didn't care anymore because she now payed someone else weekly to keep my hair in braids and to do the combing.  I learned during this process that moms are much nicer than strangers when combing your hair and I really began to accept how really stubborn my hair was.  My mom's only job now was to load me up with panadol prior to my going to the braiding stylist, I had to do the rest of the work, including sitting for hours, with my face dug into the braiding stylist smelling vagina.  Well prior to my starting day secondary school, I had to cut my hair and most girls who went to my school cried but I came home with a smile because now I could breath, I did not have to put a comb through my "stubborn-thick-lucious-hair" every weekend and I did not have to keep my nose for hours in a smelling woman's wrapper.  I was pleased to wet my hair everyday and not worry about my mom smacking my face so hard that my head spinned.  I couldn't believe that I was finally free! 
Well I had my hair short until I came to America, specifically Auburndale.  We hated the idea of moving and we wanted to go back home every chance we got.  Now what does this have to do with my hair? well the kids at school made me feel welcome, I was called all sorts of things "ugly African," broom stick- do you want my left overs," "you look like a boy and so on."  My mom was very good at making us overlook everything they said but the only one she took action over was the boy comment and she decided for me then that I will grow my hair.  Urghhh... I thought and yes I re-lived every memory of my childhood hair until I permed it on prom night, March of 2000.  I was the happiest girl alive and I still am whenever I perm my hair.  But I tell you as you get older, your taste does change and I want to celebrate the natural hair God gave me.  This is the beginning of all of the good things I expect this year.  I am going back to those stubborn roots. 
I have talked about it for years and my stylists, hubby and friends have discouraged me saying your hair is so thick, uh-uh don't come to me for help -lol Well it is my 10 and the half year with perm and I hope I make it. My hubby has been nervous about it but I have talked about it so much that he gave in.
My hair currently is a little past shoulder length when straightened, I am open to ideas and suggestions to make this process easier, including product ideas.  Thanks for reading :)