Be Careful what you pray for

You know my husband is my number one inspiration and while he was gone on a 6 month deployment,  I had nothing to write.  Well his deployment was supposed to end in July but ended a few weeks earlier for my husband :().  He had a necrotic appendix and had to have an emergency appendectomy.  So after a few days in Nova Scotia he was sent back to me for my TLC.  It was a very big scare but it ended up being a blessing in disguise because I was able to spend a few weeks with him prior to my deployment (International month) to Nigeria.  I wouldn't have had all that time with him and we were pretty bomed by it and prayed for even a few days together.  Yah be careful what you pray for.  I should have specified to God how I wanted to spend time with my husband and at what expense.  God is good though because Jude is in perfect health and we got to spend some quality time.
So what did I do while he was gone...quite a bit and I may forget some.... my hubby is amazing he manages to be great even while deployed.  He sent me roses on valentine's day (which I almost turned down thinking it was from a secret admirer) and my birthday in April, I also got a dozen roses delivered to my doorsteps, I got to attend one of my great friend's wedding, Kristin.  I got to spend my wedding anniversary with my hubby in Rome, Italy (my big trip surprise), I also got to spend time with my girlfriends in New York (I will tell you all about that in a later blog).

Yay!!!

It was really nice hearing the voice of my love yesterday! He is doing well.  cheers everyone!

"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two."
-St. Augustine

Hard Times

I am having the hardest of times, I have had all the signs and symptoms of my depressed patients.  Boy! I really thought I had gone through the worst of everything.  Every time I find something that makes me cheerful, I find out that Jude is not there for me to tell.  I am stressed and can't stop eating- in total, I have gained 18 pounds.  I know it must be hard for Jude and the rest of the crew, since they are stuck in the ship for 6 months, but I can't control the way I feel.  Yesterday, I couldn't sleep probably because I was afraid he would call and I would miss it.  When he did call, we didn't know where to begin, but soon we realized that there was a line of people waiting their turns to call their family.  It took us a second, then we asked questions about how we were, and we both lied that all was well.  We talked a bit, but had to be interrupted because someone else was up to use the phone.  Today I thought after work, I would go to the gym, working out seems to ease the stress away, but I didn't last 15 minutes and then I came home and ate more than my belly can handle.  I appreciate all of your prayers for my husband but please pray for me as well.

Engagements

I visited facebook after some time of leave and I discovered that two of my friends are engaged to be married.  Both were suspected and sorry I didn't check my phone messages- too much has been on my mind lately.  Congrats mi dears and expect our gifts in the mail.  God bless!

Worried :(

Haven't heard from the hubby in two days, I really hope that all is well.

"Gracias Doctura"

It amazes me the power of the M.D.  I admitted a patient to the ICU a few months back, she was a very sick, young Hispanic lady.  It was around the time we saw some nasty sick folks affected with H1N1.  Well that's what she had and she was intubated, sedated, and on the vent.  I remembered that we kept fluctuating her vent settings and  attempted twice to extubate her but without success.  I couldn't figure out exactly what was wrong with her, and none of the other docs had a clue either.  It baffles me how many consultant physicians are usually in one ICU case, and for me that seems to complicate things even further.  Anyways, I was writing my notes when the case manager comes up to me and said "Dr. ChiChi it seems like she isn't getting any better" and I said "no, I am praying hard for her."  I use prayer all the time, whenever I need more guidiance from God in other to better care for my patients.  And then she said "since we are not getting anywhere soon can you write for a permission for her family to cross the Mexican border.'  I was very confused and asked her "can I do that? what exactly do I do?" and she said "write it in a prescription pad and sign your name, with M.D." Wow! I thought just because I am a doctor, well I did it anyways and in a few days her family was in the hospital; they were allowed to cross the Mexican border. 

I Shoulda Known Better

It is high time I learn to stop putting my hope and trust in the Navy.  I am very sad today because I did not hear from my husband as we expected.  His ship was supposed to pull up to port today for refuel and all week we had been looking forward to this day, since he will get his first chance to call me.  I had a 30 hour shift last night and faught the temptation of sleep because I did not want to miss the call.  My father-in-law also called and the whole time I was talking to him, I was worried that I was going to miss the call.  You have no idea how many times I looked at my phone, while seeing my clinic patients.  I reviewed my missed calls a few many times, looking to check that it was not on vibrate or silent.  I checked my mail alerts and emails.  Then I started to worry and imagine everything that could happen, being that I am a woman, the worst usually comes first.  I haven't had the time to do anything else but make sure that I did not miss one message from him.  I finally leave the house in the cold just to get a breath of fresh air, only to return and find an email from him that expressed his dissappointment that he didn't get a chance to talk to me.  Baby, I cannot believe, you had to be placed on watch, it had to be us just because we were looking forward to this day.

I love and miss you dearly