A conversation between me and a friendly stranger.
Stranger- (with a warm smile) your baby is gorgeous
Me- thanks (smiling back at her)
Stranger- can she walk?
Me- no- she is only 3 months old (I really wanted to say Are you flipping kidding me??? why would I have this heavy child in a carrier if she could walk!)
Stranger- how old did you say?
Me- 3 months
Stranger- well my kid ran up the stairs at 4 months
Me- ehn! (thinking this lady must think I'm dumb)
Stranger- yes oh you really should start doing some leg exercises and carry her less, she may surprise you.
Me- (with a fake smile) thanks for the advice.
Being a new mom is hard in itself but on top of that you have to deal with all of the advice, both good and bad and even crazy ones. If you are not careful some of them will make you doubt yourself. Some will even make you feel like you are a bad mom and not doing enough for your child. The truth is no one will ever love my child more than me; no one will ever make as much sacrifice that I've made so far and the ones that I will make in the future.
Seriously, this stranger's story obviously does not make sense, in fact I will be very concerned if my daughter got up and walked on her own today. I wanted to laugh because I thought at first that she was joking but then I noticed the serious look on her face. IT IS NOT THE NORM so don't let people like her convince you otherwise.
First of all did I tell her I wanted to sign my daughter up for some developmental milestone competition- see me see wahala. I am enjoying her and would love her to take all of the time she can- I don't want to miss anything. Did I tell her that I was tired of carrying my pikin? nope! but rather I was minding my business when she saw the look of new mom written all over my face and thought she would throw in her two cents. Well nice lady I may have new mom written all over me but I am not dumb, my mummy friends, mom, grandma, cousins.... gat my back lol
On a more serious note, I have learned in these three months that the advice will keep coming- both good and bad but the important thing is that they all mean well and my answer to them is always the same, thanks for the advice.
How do you respond to people's advice concerning your child?
5 comments:
"Stranger- well my kid ran up the stairs at 4 months" #dead... the baby must be super man o
lmao, that's a big fat lie! hope your baby is feeling much better.
@9jafoodie lol
@ Adellemaria I agree
I say, "Thank you for you concern but I'm sure he will do X or Y in his own time." Then under my breath I add 'Otoro n'enwero nne na nna gbagbukwaa gi' and smile sweetly.
Strangers are not hard to deal with. It's well-meaning members of family that you have to look out for. I know it takes a village to raise a child or whatever but our people know how to do oversabi and some will hurt your child in the process (putting pepper up their bum to make them strong, over stretching/breaking their arms to make them tall etc). I think that saying was truer when people all lived together/had very similar norms and values. Also as a new mum, it IS easy for them to brush your opinions aside as if you don't know what you're doing.
Firmness is the key. "Thank you but my baby has 4 grandparents, X amounts of aunts and uncles but only one mother. My word will have to be final with regards to him/her."
It may make you enemies though but you just have to protect your child. They say the road to hell is paved with good intentions.
Phew. Long answer!
@ igbomarriage I cannot stop laughing, thanks for the comment :)
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